Human beings are strange. They usually know the obvious but dance around it as if it can go away by a wave of the hand.
There are two important dates of man. The day he was born, and the day he will die. And unfortunately on both these serious events, man neither knew, nor took notice of the happenings around him.
And there are also two unique developments with these dates. On the day of your birth, you came out crying, but on the day man leaves this universe, others cry for him, while he goes to eternal sleep, and may be watches from afar jeering at the “Ignoramuses” crying for him.
But despite the necessary end which death portrays for man, he deliberately avoids it like a plague. Man avoids death, and refuses to talk about it as if that will prevent it when it dare comes, which is necessary anyway.
So, why do man fear to discuss death? Is it because here is better than the world beyond? If so why do we lament every day about hardship in the country, and yet want to hang unto life despite the horrible situation in the land? Why is it that every body wants to go to heaven, yet nobody wants to die? Is man born into hypocrisy?
But I want to say that the number of deaths these days has reduced the shock we usually have about death. I know that when we were growing up, news of deaths usually strike with shocks, because you record deaths long in between previous ones.
When we were growing up, you hardly can face a dead body for fear of the “ghost”. And if you eventually see one, you cannot sleep alone in the night for next on month.
And then, there were no ambulances. Infact, dead bodies were not embalmed, and therefore do not take more than two days before it is buried. Therefore, there was no need for mortuaries. Then, if our daughter married in far flung community dies, she must arrive home on the head of the able bodied youths. Infact, it was in such like occasions that men who call themselves men identify themselves.
Let me also say that those days if some body dies in the community, you will not hear a single laughter from any person. Every body in the village wears a long face until the body is buried, and every person walks away sulking. No entertainments, no band stand, no Ashebi.
I think the attitude of man towards death then reduced the number of deaths because it usually took time for deaths to be recorded in the communities.
However, since man elevated deaths to a carnival and Owambe, any wonder that death visits man now like “no man business”!
These days if a rich man, politician, Traditional Ruler or wealthy Pastor dies, the burial ceremony instead of serving as a gathering for stock-taking and sober reflection turns to a tumultuous ceremony where aspiring politicians sell themselves, ladies of easy virtue dress to kill and sale their wares, while thieves, car snatchers and other characters exhibit their trades.
What shall we call this? Is that part of the global development and imitation of the “Whiteman’s” character?
When I look at the ongoing scenario now compared to when we grew up, I make bold to say that though there are various recorded achievements in the area of science and inventions, morality has taken flight in the face of contemporary society.
In my days, what were the major sicknesses then? It was these days that mankind has been visited with astonishing diseases that have defied medical comprehension, yet we say we are developing.
In the early Eighties, there was no sickness APC and phensic could not cure. The highest sickness then that attracted the whole community to show sympathy was when some one went for “operation”. Which was mainly appendicitis and hyenae, the community would be regaled by the sick patient on how his/her stomach was opened by the doctor.
And common diseases among the youths were simply gonorrhea or syphilis, which could be cured by “a chemist” prescription. Today their grand father, the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, Aids has arrived without cure. Imagine that it had come in the early Eighties when the youths bothered less about condom?
This same period, women in my Community had their Babies in the Dispensary which is still located and existing today at Mbutu Okohia, Umuhu, Ngor Okpala.
There were no complications then, as the women delivered their children like the Hebrew women, without problems. In some cases, pregnant women could go to farm only to return home with their bouncing Baby Boy or Girl.
How did it happen? The heavily pregnant woman defied all odds and went to the farm, only to arrive there and contraction started. Instead of running to the Health Clinic that is a little far away, was covered around by her fellow women in the farm, and she was delivered of the Baby. Mother and child doing well, without any injection, tablets, BP test and what have you. One of my cousins, Ekenta, arrived in this manner.
But today, from day one, our new breed women begin attending antenatal at the best Hospitals in town the moment they noticed that they were having pregnancy signs. She keeps to the routine for eight months. On the ninth month, she travels to Scotland, USA, Britain or even Ghana to have self delivery, yet in the end she develops a complication, and ends up on the surgical table.
Have we sat down to ask ourselves why things are going on like this in the so called modern time? Has it occurred to us that some thing must be wrong some where?
Are things not wrong when we are told and even asked to agree that man and man should be wedded to live as “husband and wife?” Are things ok in a world where a man not only sleeps with his daughter, but produced a child in the relationship? Are we not seeing where a man impregnated his blood sister?
These days you see a child of three years marching on to pay last respect to a dead body lying in state. It was an abomination during my time! Then, it was only mature people who see dead bodies because they can stand the awe. All has changed in the spirit of Civilization and jet age. These are part of the reasons news of deaths evoke deja vu than sympathy. News of deaths only convey sewing of new cloths, drinking, dancing, show-casing of affluence etc.
Are we supposed to celebrate or mourn the dead? A man or woman who died at the age of 40?
I was shocked some years ago when I went to a mortuary in Owerri to deposit the dead body of my younger sister and the little Baby that took her life while giving birth, and was told the mortuary was full to the brim and therefore could not contain more dead bodies. The Notice was pasted openly on a wall for all to read.
This is an indication that it has come to a time for every one to embrace the reality that death is real, and discuss it in the open, and not hiding as if is an aberration. In the process, one should ask himself some innate questions incase death arrives now.
Where I live in Owerri, one of my stupendously rich neighbours (names withheld) had already constructed his grave, and that of his wife as part of the edifice he is erecting in his large compound.
One morning he invited me over, and I was about leaving when he took me to this beautiful structure I thought was his “Obi”. He opened the door and I saw two Vaults covered with gold plated covers and he said “Henry, this is my grave, the one beside it is for my wife. All that my children need do is simply to buy caskets and lower us here whenever we die”. I stood there staring at him, and the curiosity of a Journalist shot out. “Sir, people will say you belong to a cult” He replied “I am a devoted Christian, all my entire family know that. Even these workers you see here know me better than the outside world. I don’t care what people think about, but what God think about me” he said.
So, that is why I thought about this topic today. I therefore ask; How would you want to be buried? Have you dug your own grave? As I earlier said, the dead cared less about what is happening around it, and therefore only the living organizes these earth-shaking burials that in most cases impoverishes the living. In most cases in Igboland, and among Christians, you see a family selling landed property to bury a relation, who lived in poverty, and even died for lack of fund to have adequate medical treatment.
The moment the person dies, his/her relations sale land running into millions of Naira, to rebuild the dilapidated house where he died, dig borehole, and provide other amenities in the compound.
On the day of the burial, all kinds of drinks and foods will flow. But after the burial the entire house goes back to hunger and suffering. Is that the kind of burial you want for your self?
Unfortunately, many people think that the kind of burial you give your dead relation qualifies him for honours in heaven. That is fallacy. What you are on the day of your death is what you are in heaven. If you like you can sprinkle the whole Holy Water, and Olive Oil on a dead body, it cannot change his/her record before God. When it was said in the Bible that “The Dead should bury the Dead” it does not mean that the dead should be allowed to decay abandoned, but stupendous burials do not change anything about the dead.
I learnt that you could pay as much as N70m to buy a Vault in one of the high brow Burial Gardens in Lagos. N70m, when many Nigerians go to sleep every night on empty stomach!
There is no Bigman among the dead in the mortuary. Visit a mortuary today and see that all dead Bodies are given equal treatment. They occupy just one long pan each, covered with blood-stained wrapper, and left on the ground. Those lucky end up in the fredges.
I had one experience when my father Dr Hilary Ekpe died. I was advised to be visiting to tip the mortician every four days so that the man will ever look fresh till the day of burial. Each time I go there, Monday the mortuary attendant, will still ask me my name.
One day I got angry and asked him why he refused to recognize me despite the numerous times I had visited, including the generous tips I was giving him.
Monday replied “Oga please, don’t be annoyed with me. I hardly recognize the name of visitors here, but tell me the name of your father and the Tally number. They are the people I recognize easily, please” I was shocked.
You can see that despite what the living think they are and boast about, there is a place where even your personality and tips do not guarantee your recognition; among the dead.
Honestly, man is a strange being.
