The dream of every normal young man is to settle down through marriage at the appropriate time. That is the reason for his hard work. He works under rain and sun in order to attain the heights he yearns for. Through hard work, he builds a house or rents one, buys a car and the next in line is to get married. Sometimes, I wonder why he must marry. He must because there-in lies his joy. Without a wife to call his own he is deemed incomplete. When he gets to his village meeting, even without building a house, his recognition is dependent more on his marital status than anything else. As such when he raises his hand to make a contribution no matter how meaningful, people will shout him down. His wealth of experience in the topic of discussion not withstanding people only see him as a complete man when he is married. Else amidst his education, wealth and experience he is seen as a vagabond or what the Igbo’s will call “Efule- efu”.
To run away from insult and unfulfilment, whenever he gets to a certain age he begins to search for a wife. When he finds one, he marries with the hope of raising a family with his wife.
It becomes really amazing when a wife who should ordinarily be a source of joy and a life giver to the man, turns instead to become a knife or a dagger that cuts the man into pieces. How do you begin to tell the story that a man suffered and made money and married a woman who in future turns out to be the source of his-undoing? Oh! How I wish that God will make man omniscient so that he can see what the future holds for him, I am sure no man will marry a wife who is a knife because every being runs away from pains and man is not an exception.
Some months back in one of the villages in Imo-State a crazy wife drew a dagger against her husband and instantly, the once lively man full of dreams of raising a beautiful home with his wife lay cold in his own pool of blood all because of the anger from one of the daughters of Jezebel. As I am, writing this piece the woman is cooling her feet in detention. But after detention what next? Will the man ever came back to life? The answer is obviously “No”. He has died and that is the end of his life chapter. It is not that one cannot die but how one dies matters a lot. A lot have died prematurely through mysterious circumstances. When an old man dies, it is usually painful much more when a young man dies in this kind of circumstance. When I heard the news of the young man’s death. I wondered aloud if he married a wife or a knife. In my wonder land, I pondered over several issues and asked myself too many questions. For instance, Did she not love the man in the first place? Was there anytime they both shared lovely moments together? Didn’t they start their relationship as friends? What could have led this woman into this treacherous, devilish and wicked act? I mean what on Earth would make a woman have such a strong heart as to lift a knife against a husband whom she had once professed love to? If I had remained in that wonder land too many questions would have been pouring in which I had no answers to.
Who is a woman or a wife? I suppose she is God’s wonderful creature meant to provide a soft landing for man’s many problems. When Adam saw Eve, he said, “This is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh”. The implication of that statement is that he is well pleased with the woman, the reason he did not waste time in giving her the name Eve. Whatever that name means but from the whole development, it means goodness, beauty peace, solace and a lot more. A woman by nature has a soft body and a soft heart. Men are known to possess strong hearts and that is why they hardly cry in the face of ugly situation. Real men will always remain unruffled even in the midst of terrible situations. They are strong, they can afford to get into the mortuary and behold the’ dead without much ado. They can fly aeroplane, and they can even kill etc. all because they have strong bodies and hearts. Conversely, these attributes are not typical of a woman who can hardly stand any frightening situation. How then did this woman possess the strength and courage to stab her husband with her bare hands still remains a mystery to people like me who believe so much on tenderness of a woman.
As I wondered more, I asked myself what this man actually did? What atrocities did he really commit to deserve death? The only justification for this devilish act is if she is seeking defense. May be the man wanted to kill her and so she killed him first. But that was not the issue. So what on earth could make a woman kill her husband with a knife? The answer is absolutely noting. If he is caught with another woman, though too bad is still not qualified to take his life. May be he did not buy her Hollandis or George; did not pay children’s school fees or did not bring money for house up keeps, kept late nights, whatever the reason, nothing is worth taking another persons life much more one’s spouse. Indeed this woman was conceived in hell.
Apart from killing ones husband\some Women have proved in several quarters especially at homes that they are knives and not wives. As a wife when you enter into the family, you are supposed to be the binding chord that brings your husband and his relations together. Where there is no peace in the family> you are supposed to advocate peace so that the family unity will not be broken. Some women rather than be advocates of peace use their wifely, sorry, knifely nature to cut in pieces the existing peace in the family. This they do by not wanting to accommodate any member from their husband’s area. When the man complains, they engage themselves in a show of shame through fights. Your husband, according to your dictate, should not help members of the family nor visit his home except on approval by you. Woe betide him if he dares thwart your orders. If he does you come with your knife which could be in the form of your tongue, bare hand, or worst still the physical knife. At the slightest provocation, you turn to a lioness ready to devour the man whom you once professed love to. You need deliverance really.
There are some women who are knives that cut down the rope or ladder with which their husbands could climb to greatness. One man once told me that the worst mistake he can make is to reveal to his wife that he wants to embark on any project because once he does that, the wife must pull it down through her strange spirit. So what he does is to keep the knowledge of such project far from the wife for that is the only way he can record success. What a wife!
All those who are knives who pose as wives should realize that their mission in their husband’s home is to compliment him. You are there as a companion, you are to compliment his weakness. In his moments of weakness your strength should be made perfect so that he can feel strong again. You must learn the things that create happy atmosphere in your home and crave for such things. After everyday’s work, the home is the final resting place for the man. As he comes home, sometimes he comes back with bruises and pains your duty as a wife is to nurse those wounds through your love and care. Your tender and soft touch should be his stay and your succulent skin should be where his troubled head should rest. You must create a peaceful environment to enable him have rest after work. If you translate your hand to become the undoing of your husband you will be the ultimate loser. When he is no more even the imbecile in the city can come knocking at your door seeking for your attention.
When the man offends you because offences must come, draw his attention to his wrong doing through prayers the matter will be resolved. Avoid the build-up of anger because it can metamorphose into wickedness that can lead to murder. Learn to forgive him easily so that you both can trudge on in your marital life.
Remember there is no justification for taking away another person’s life much more one’s spouse. If you do, the long arms of the law will catch up with you immediately and I bet, you will find it difficult to dance the music that will surely begin to play for you. You are supposed to be a wife and not a knife. A good wife according to the Holy book builds her home but a bad wife/knife pulls it down with her hands. Be wise!!
