Since my secondary school days, I have come to appreciate literature as a subject. The reason is because it is one course that will bring you close to humanity. No wonder my literature teacher then defined literature as an imaginative story about life. The love I have for literature courses contributed to my studying English Language as a degree course in the university.
Literature is a course that will make you appreciate life more. So whenever my literature teacher came around, it was usually my delight as I listened with rapt attention, and one of the lessons I learnt in literature was literary appreciation through figures of speech. We were taught simile, metaphor, hyperbole, alliteration, pun, paradox, to mention but a few. It is actually through figures of speech that I have come to understand that a given expression may actually mean more than its surface appearance. An expression may seem meaningless, but underlying its surface structure is a vary meaningful deep structure. It indeed makes sense. One of such sense-packed expressions is that “the child is the father of the man”. And true to its literary significance, it will always set you wondering how possible it can be. This puzzle was what my young and little mind could not contend with then as my imagination wonder how a child can become the father of the man.
Each time I think of the expression and considered my parents I had wondered how I could become their mother and father. The picture and the understanding of such paradoxical expressions became clearer as I grew up. I came to understand the much deeper meaning that it has to do with my taking care of my parents when they are old. I came to appreciate this before the demise of my parents especially my strong and macho father. As a child, it was my belief that nobody on earth was stronger than my father.
My beloved father as far as I know was an ebullient and strong man. Strength, power and honour were his qualities. This was shown in the large expanse of land he cultivated as a great farmer. My dad was not a peasant farmer because he produced food enough for members of his family to feed well and still had enough to sell to others. He was a strong man to the core. So when I saw that strength wither away his old age, I understood better why a child becomes the father of the man at a certain stage in life.
Responsible parents are of inestimable value. The pains they go through to bring up their children are unquantifiable. From the conception stage, both parents bear the pains of pregnancy. When the baby is delivered, the process of nurturing and raising the child up becomes another story all together as no child can ever finish paying for all the care he has received. With so much joy, a mother carries her child for nine months. She passes through all the rigours of labour which sometimes assume a 50-50 chance for life as it gradually progresses. The money expended on the children’s school fees, feeding, health and the stress of school runs for contemporary parents are the numerous stresses which children put their parents through. Even as adults, parents, as long as they have strength in them, would wish to take care of their children. The amazing thing about the parents – children’s relationships is that no parent ever gives up on his children. Whatever parents do towards the overall development of their children, they do with relish because they believe that their children are their pride and their security for tomorrow. They earnest prayer is that God should please reserve exclusive places in paradise for all responsible parents.
Experiences have equally proved that there are instances where irresponsible parents are careless about the welfare of their children. This is however the exception rather than the norm.
The fundamental perception here is that when parents responsibly bring up their children by providing for their children in moments of these children’s helplessness and tenderness, they expect good results. As such, any time it is the turn of the children they should do much more knowing fully well that the number of years the children will expend their resources on their aged parents is less than the number of years the parents put in bringing up their children. When as a child, you were being taken care off by your parents, they were there for you, and that was the reason you did not loose your eyes, legs, nose, ear etc. to home accidents. As a toddler your mum sat or stationed someone who dedicatedly watched you so that you never suffered an injurious childhood. At fie teething stage, they were there and made sure that you pulled through the challenges of life.
At that stage when the child becomes the father of the man, the man-child is stronger, more reasonable, and sees life more from the real perspective. The man/woman who is old is weak and feeble with reduced or no reasoning at all. It is therefore left for the children to understand their parent’s predicaments, pamper them and give every necessary assistance that is commensurate with their age. It is quite disheartening to see an old man who has laboured to train his children into men and women of substance, still suffering neglect.
Another disheartening scenario is the treatment daughters-in-law give to their mothers-in-law. Such daughters-in-law are well to do today because of the wealth of the old man’s child. And it is this same dirty old woman that nurtured the man into existence and life. It is thus baffling that a daughter -in-law could look down on the aged parents -in-law as if they are not human beings.
Sometimes when you visit the abode of these aged and see the rooms where they are in most homes, it is usually characterized with foul and offensive odours. Some defecate on themselves and urinate on their dresses and stay in the same dirty environment for hours if not days before being attended to. That ought not happen in environment of care and attention.
Another terrible condition which these old people suffer in the hands of their children and relation is neglect and loneliness. Because they are old, the children hardly have time to stay with them and encourage them in their efforts to hold on to life a little longer. Many of their children don’t seem to realize that the mere fact of their age means that there are few of their mates alive with whom they could flow and communicate most reasonably. As such, children of such people who should ordinarily consider it a rare privilege to be looking after such senior citizens ought to device a mechanism by which they could engage these elderly parents of theirs chatting and retaining their holds on reasonableness. It is appalling that such people could be left on their own without any effort by their children to make them feel wanted. Too bad indeed.
It is also very important for the children of such elderly parents to appreciate the fact that when their parents were much younger, they totally and effectively took care of themselves. They were reasonably engaged economically and were never a burden to anyone. As they advanced in age, they usually become regular targets to all forms of communicable diseases within their immediate environments. Since they may no longer move freely on their own, they have more or less become physically challenged and should not become subjected to further psychological torture by the same people who they have spent their own productive years taking care of. A son or daughter of such a person should never grumble while extending financial assistance to him/her, after all if he/she had not assisted in the education of the children, he/she would probably have so much savings to draw from. Such is life.
I may have to abruptly end this epistle by enjoining all who have elderly parents to consider themselves blessed. What it actually implies is that you yourself will likely grow elderly too if you learn one or two lips from your aged parent. Do not make them regret their livelihood. Now that you who was a child is now the father of the man, extend the goodwill to them because you too will find yourself in the same condition in a few years time. May God grant you the grace to pamper your aged parents and help them live a little longer for
