Marriage true to the Holy Bible is honourable. It is indeed an awesome sight to behold, more especially on the day it is being contracted. For instance, you must have attended a traditional wedding, a church wedding or even at the courts where from your entrance to the arena you must have noticed the splendour which a good decoration outfit must have bestowed on the venue especially when the couples involved are well to do. The decoration alone will leave you wondering all the way about the beauty of existence.
When the bride is ready to come out to greet the guests, people usually fall over one another just to have the best glimpse of the lucky bride. The same colourful situation equally takes centre stage at the white wedding as the bride is always at her very best. Even when the groom does not have much, he goes out of his way to procure all those items that will make the bride look heavenly. A conglomeration of a dazzling bride and several poppings of expensive brands of champagne are some of the things that make wedding occasions worthwhile.
However, it baffles me to know that after the pronouncements of those heavenly expressions, such as “You may kiss your bride” and “You are hereby proclaimed husband and wife”, all hell is let loose on this young heaven! As the couple gets back home and you give them a few mouths or years even private kissing and feeding cease. The home which ordinarily should be a paradise for the couple now turns into a battle field, simply because the centre of the marriage tie is no longer holding.
As I sat back to ruminate over those issues that translate the ordinarily happy experience of marriage into sour grapes, I find our men culpable. This is because most often than not, men bring in a lot of funny and foreign bodies into their matrimonial homes. May I bring to your notice, my dear young man that when a woman leaves her father’s house to her husbands home, all she looks forward to is a happy and a better abode. That is why every young woman looks forward to a happy marriage. As she steps into her new home, she does so with all her love, submission and devotion. Why all the devotion? It is because you as the husband is the man who beat every other male competitor in the race and for you to have emerged a winner, you must have put in a lot of sacrifices to earn her love and respect, hence her agreement to be your wife.
How come then that barely a few weeks, months or years of marriage you become an attack dog and even a lion seeking to devour a woman who you have invested so much to earn her love? Men will always claim that they hold the flag of wisdom and strength, yet amazingly most men lack the stamina and wisdom to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage. Their greatest source of weakness resides in their staff of office or better still their third legs.
You should know that the wife you married never bargained to marry a dog, a tiger or a lion as a husband. This is because women by nature are gentle and soft at heart. And that gentility is what gives them the ability to conceal a whole lot of problems even in the face of fire in the valleys. How do you leave things that will bring joy and goodness to your marriage and pursue shadows and chaffs?
A man once told me that men by nature are polygamous. As far as I am concerned, the good God I know will never give you a nature that will bring quarrels at home. God himself is not apolygamous God. That is why he is known as a jealous God. Hefrowns at those who leave him and get entangled with strange gods. His sheep hear his voice and follow him because they know him. His sheep have no business with baa Is and other deities. They are absolutely loyal and devoted to him and he cares for them as a good shepherd. I have heard some men complain that their wives are very bad – character wise. They may clench their fists at the slightest provocation and that accounts for the reason they seek solace in Delilah’s abode. As beautiful and sympathetic such stories may sound, it does not give any man the license to be promiscuous. Some will as a matter of excuse say “I thought I married an angel but I never knew that I married a witch as a wife”.
If you married a devil or a witch as a wife, the blame still goes back to you as a man. This is because before you step into the altar to say “I do” with any woman, you ought to have reasoned well and equally ought to have prayed to get a confirmation and the peace of mind that she is the one. But most times men give little or no time to such things. They rather feel that with a fat wallet they can get princesses and damsels. You got it all wrong, my dear! Because no princess comes easy. You have to pass or walk through several gates of brass and gold to knock at a king’s palace. The princesses in the palace are not for common men without character, they are exclusively for men of noble back ground and character.
Trust Nigerian men they can wear any shoe to get what they want. As such, they can come in good apparel and pretend to be the best not knowing that several demons are beneath their coats and trousers. Else how can you leave a woman you spent so much to get and be expending attention on other women? That is arrant nonsense. It simply means that such a man is a pig and a dog who is not fit to be in a human environment.
I recommend that such men should be thrown into the bush so that they will spend seven years in the bush like Nebuchadnezzar did in the days of
old.
I have not seen any woman in whose mouth sugar abounds that spits it out in preference to sand. It is much easier to spit out bitter kola than sugar. This is because sugar as a substance tastes good and great, and every woman would wants to have sugar retained in her mouth forever even in spite of diabetes.
To the husbands who have complained in the past about their demon-possessed wives who they can never please, I have always discouraged that because I know there is no way a man can show love and devotion to a woman without its being reciprocated by the woman. I believe that there is just no way you can show a woman kindness, love, devotion and respect; and further perform your duties in the home and you won’t have absolute submission from her unless of course you married a devil and not a woman. But why will you leave a woman and marry a devil? It is simply your own mistake and not hers. This is because you could have avoided her if you had sought the face of God. God will not give you a Delilah in place of Mary. Think about this.
A critical survey of the things that cause crises in the home has revealed that sometimes men contribute greatly to it through unfaithful attitudes. Your business will not succeed if your home front is not in order. So, every man should make a conscious effort to ensure that the woman of the house enjoys her home or else such a man is bringing curse on himself, and I wonder how such a man can cope in a home of chaos and anarchy.
When you married your wife you made a solemn vow to love her with everything you have. You automatically willed the totality of your being to her including your time, wealth and third leg. It is only her that has the exclusive right to all those. So when you drift to sharing what belongs to her with other women, simply because you believe it is a man’s world you are simply looking for her trouble.
To maintain peace in your home my dear chairman, you must come back to the drawing table, see where you have fallen aside, take corrections and your wife will come smiling back to you. There is one thing a woman can never share with another woman; it is her man’s staff of office. Make no mistake about that Mr. Chairman.
(APOLOGIES: In last week’s topic Still on the Abortion Bill”, I erroneously stated that Hon. Mrs. Adaku Ihuoma, the Majority Leader of Imo House of Assembly represents Ezinihitte State Constituency in the Assembly. It was an error as the Honourable Member in question actually represents Ahiazu Mbaise State Constituency in the Imo House of Assembly. The error is very deeply regretted as no mischief was ever intended. I totally apologize’ to the constituents of Ezinihitte Mbaise State Constituency.)
