THE SIMPLE definition of the English word “Marriage” as “the union of the man and woman by a ceremony in law” and the “state of being so united” do not go far enough, and, it appears too difficult a task to attempt to define the relationship comprehensibly enough to encompass its divine import what it is divinely intended to be, or what it should be, and, what it is ! It is a divine institution, designed to form a permanent union between man on the one side, and woman on the other, that they might be useful to one another (Gen. 2:18). It is also the deepest corporeal and spiritual union in which monogamy is the form ordained by God. (Gen. 24; compare Matt. 19:5).
Today’s social gospel preachers, tend to avoid discussion on this topic, apparently to avoid giving offences to erring sons, and daughters of Adam and Eve Progenitor of human race. A serious attempt will be made in this dissertation to go into this eternal divine arrangement for the human family by way of Bible exegesis on the origin of marriage.
After Adam had reviewed or named the animals on the sixth day of creation (the same day that Adam himself was made), that same act of naming the animals by Adam raised the issue of a companion for Adam. God them caused a deep sleep to fall upon him, and He took out one of his ribs and fashioned it into a woman who would be a companion to Adam and satisfy the unfulfilled yearnings of man’s heart. Created for fellowship and companionship man could enter into full life only as he might share love, trust and devotion in the intimate circle of the family relationship. Thus God made it possible for man to have a helpmeet. Literally a help answering to him or one who answers. She was to be one who could share man’s responsibilities, respond to his nature with understanding and love and whole-heartedly co-operate with him in working out God’s plan.
The sacredness and the divine institution of marriage originate from the mystery of the creation of Eve from Adam’s rib while a deep sheep fell upon him. The miracle was certainly a display of divine mercy which culminated in the eternal bringing into being, not only another individual, but a new one, totally different with another sex – anatomical structure and physiological propensities with special hormones and spiritual assertiveness. The import of this divine act is that “woman was taken not from man’s head to rule over him, nor from his feet to be trampled upon, but from his side, under his arm, to be protected, and closest his heart to be loved” She is also represented in the creation story as wholly dependent on her husband and not complete without him. Thus the woman was formed for inseparable unity and fellowship of life with man. The mode of her creation was to lay the actual foundation for the moral ordinance of marriage.
God Himself solemnized the first marriage in Eden. After making the woman, He led her to Adam the husband who by this time had awaken from his deep sleep. [Luke 3:38 refers to Adam as “the son of God” thus by extension Eve would also be called a “daughter of God”. The word “Eve” (ev) is Heb “hawwah” – life man the name given by Adam to the first woman, his wife (Gen. 3:20)] and “gave her away” in marriage to (Adam) her husband. The marriage covenant was appropriately performed and termed “The Covenant of God” (Prov. 2:17), a name implying God’s authorship of marriage as a sacred institution. Thus establishing the eternally significant institution of marriage a sacred relationship between man and woman with deep mystery in its centre proclaiming its divine origin. The loving heart of God rejoiced in the institution of a relationship that was to be high, clean, holy, and pleasant for mankind.
Adam recognizing in Eve, the desired companion welcomed her joyfully as his bride and expressed his joy poetically “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called ‘woman’ (Heb “ishshah”) because she was taken out of man” (Gen. 2:23) The words “This is now” reflect his pleasant surprise, as he saw the woman as the fulfillment of his heart’s desire. In the Hebrew rendition Adam trice repeated “this” which vividly points to Eve in joyful astonishment, on whom his eyes now rested with intense thrill of first love. Instinctively or as a result of divine instruction, he recognized in her, part of his own being. He was henceforth to love her as his own body, for in loving her, he loves himself. Apostle Paul stressed this truth in Eph. 5:28.
The name Adam gave his newly created companion reflected the manner of her creation. The Hebrew word ‘ishshah’- “woman” is formed of the word ‘ish’ “man” with the feminine ending. The English word “woman” (Anglo-Saxon “wife-man”) is similarly related to the word “man”. The same is true of various other languages.
In sealing His covenant of marriage at the wedding ceremony, God made the eternal declaration on marriage in Gen. 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh”. These words cannot be regarded as prophetic utterance of Adam, but rather as the words of God Himself. They are part of His declaration at the marriage ceremony (see Matt. 19:4,5). These words express the deepest physical and spiritual unity of man and woman, and hold up monogamy before the world as the form of marriage ordained by God. They do not by any stretch of imagination recommend a forsaking of filial duty, responsibility and respect towards parents, but refer primarily to high degree of affection a man should hold for his wife, but not such that could supersede a man’s love for his parents.
The unity of husband and wife is expressed in Scripture in unmistakable words, existing as they do, in a unity of bodies, a community of interests and a reciprocity of affections. It is a significant fact that Christ uses it in His strong condemnation of divorce (see Matt. 19:5) Christ in the NT went further to seal the marriage bond in these words “what therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder (Mark 10:9) God planned that marriage bond should be for ever indissoluble. The Hebrew word “dabaq” translated cleve in Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5; Mark 10:7 means “to give himself to his wife”. Love is strong and enduring. This statement is an old statement, but it is truly God’s word for all human hearts today and always. It is rooted in eternal truth and divine decree.
The ethics of Christian relationships within the family are clear when once it is seen that differences and subordination do not in any sense imply inferiority. The submission enjoined upon the wife is of the kind that can be given only between “equals” not a servile obedience, but a voluntary submission in the respect in which the man was qualified by the Maker – God — to be head (Gen. 3:16).
Every community must, for purposes of organization and existence, have a head. Even in this free age of insistence on the equality men and women, the man who does not assume the leadership of his family in love, is regarded with something akin to contempt by men and women alike. This principle of submission is permanent, but its specific application may very from age to age; generation to generation according to custom, tradition and social consciousness (compare 1 Cor. 11:3; 7-9; Col. 3:18; 1 Tim. 2:11,12; Titus 2:5). The injunction on wives to submit to their own husbands in Eph. 5:22 does not suggest a contrast with other women’s husbands, but emphasizes the holy relationship of possession upon which the submission is founded, that is that the headship of the husband consists in his ability and responsibility to care for his wife, (in the same way that Christ cares for the church) emphasizing that the husband should be the protector and sustainer of his wife and family. In this divine arrangement, no question of inferiority of the wife should ever arise in a family where the husband shows the same solicitude for the welfare of his wife as Christ shows for His church.
The response of the husband to the wife’s submission should not be in giving commands, but to love. This instantly makes a partnership out of what, otherwise would be a dictatorship- a husband should not be a dictator to his family. A Christian husband should never utter rude commands. His love should find expression in many different ways. It will be given in words of understanding and affection. The husband will properly provide for the wife’s temporal support (1 Tim. 5:3); he will do everything possible to assure her happiness (1 Cor. 7:33); he will give her every honour (1 Peter 3:7).
The supreme test of love is whether it is prepared to forge happiness in order that the other might have it. In this matter of the relationship between spouses, the husband is to imitate Christ, giving up personal pleasures and comforts to ensure the wife’s happiness by standing by her side in the hour of sickness etc., ministering to her spiritual needs, and she, his, in the spirit of mutual love that of unfailing, self sacrificing love.
The interests of husband and wife should be bound tightly together inviolable and inseparable, so that their ideals correspond to their identical spiritual goals. When a husband promotes the wife’s welfare, he is promoting his own, not only because both are closely bound together, but because she imparts to him, the happiness he brings to her, for kindness begets kindness.
