From time immemorial, the city of Owerri has always been known for its spirit of hospitality. Owerri indigenes as a matter of fact are jolly good fellows. A typical Owerri man is never greedy. They are contented with what they have and do not give much room to bickerings when it comes to the acquisition of material wealth. They have some what of comeliness with the Flausa man’s philosophy of not gathering too much wealth at a time. When wealth comes big, well and good! for an average Owerri man, but when it doesn’t he is still happy so long as he has a little for ugba and palm wine.
The value they place on life and existence makes them have the belief that life must be pampered and enjoyed to the fullest and it has to be within one’s limited means. After the days work, a typical Owerri man sits down in a bar to enjoy his ugba and palm wine and talks freely about life generally once there is change in his pocket, little wonder the slogan “atala ugba nuo mmii ndi mgba mgba na kuru ma” which generally translates once he has his ugba and palm wine he has little or no space in his life for troubles.
The philosophy of a trouble-free life is also shared by their women, The reason why it is believed that a number of Owerri ladies who could hardly stay in their marriage outside the Owerri locality have been seen to have manifested such trails because of inability to acclimatize to the foreign values of their supposed husband’s culture that do not advance this perception that life should be lived to the fullest. Such a lady believes that marriage should be rosy and when it is not she carries her bag and off she goes back to her Owerri home. Easy going species indeed! Somehow I share in that philosophy too that life should be rosy but nature has already made it that life is full of ups and downs and every one must work extremely hard to achieve goodness.
As Owerri began to grow with the presence of foreigners in the city the business minded ones are daily leveraging on this life-style of Owerri people to create wealth for themselves through the establishments of joints here and there making the city a hospitality area where men from the neighbouring cities crave to come. Owerri city welcomes such visitations from people from Port-Harcourt, Aba, Orlu, Okigwe, Onitsha, Warri and other neighbouring cities.
Most evenings men after a busy day’s work hang out with their friends in these places eating and drinking till late in the night leaving every joint owner with huge profit. There are such joints as 40-40, Orange Room, Ibari Ogwa, Mbari Kitchen and many more ones that one can get into and relax.
There is nothing actually wrong with hanging out for a man/woman once in a while but like the old saying-whatever that has an advantage certainly has a disadvantage. Yes! It is good to give oneself a treat. The western world does that. That is why every year they include as part of their budget a holiday trip outside their immediate environment. They make no mistake about that but the difference between us and them is that when they engage in such vacations they do with their families. Sometimes it is just with their spouses alone and for those of them who are not married with their girl friends. What such vacations do is that at the end of it, it enhances closeness, unity and trust among the parties involved. It also serves as a period of rest to relax one’s tired bones and get the individuals involved rejuvenated.
But down here the story is a totally different ball game. Our Nigerian men like to hang out and around but most of the times not with their spouses but with their mistress while the woman at home roasts all day. The issue is that not just that some men hang out but that many of them do it with optimum impunity. You are a man, you came into a bar and sat down all through the evenings charting with your friends even till late in the night without taint recourse as to the feelings of those at home. Sometimes, when h comes back home he comes back soaked and drenched in alcohol and when his wife tries to find out the reason for such an ungodly attitude all she receives is either a rebuff, a slap or demoralizing statements and the resultant effect of such actions is the drift apart of couples from the g vows and commitments they have made before many witnesses.
Why will a man develop so much interest in hanging out all the times with his friends and not with his wife? May I bring to your notice that when you hang out most times without your spouse, you are putting her through untold emotional torture. She alone in the house, faces such unfathomable questions of when will daddy come back? from the children who most of the times are impaired with being waved aside. Remember that no good woman goes to bed with her eyes closed when the husband is out there on the street especially in the night and so this your so cherished wife will stay as a watch man to ensure that the gate is opened to let you in even at very unholy hours. As she engages in this unholy waiting, she agonizes for a man who should be the number one source of her happiness. As she waits for you to come back several thoughts go on in her mind. Who knows who he is with out there? Who knows what he is exactly doing? Etc. What these thoughts do is to Create dis-effection between spouses thereby giving room for possible breakage of marriage.
Some men come from very good families with wonderful orientations but when they begin to keep associations, the negative ones affect them negatively to the detriment of the peace of their homes. And so when you want to hang out, it is better you do with your spouse and hanging out shouldn’t be a daily routine. Why it is necessary to do that is that if you are out there with your spouse, it serves as a check to night crawling because your wife will always remind you when it is time to go. She reminds you that the children are alone at home and by so doing, you are also averting some of those security risks which keeping late nights can cause. You will as well have quality time with your family and everyone will have a sense of belonging. And if by any chance you have reasons to hang out without your spouse let him/her know where you are and what you are doing. It will go a long way in erasing doubts and feelings of distrusts. If you do you will be welcomed wjth a wide open arms of love and warm embrace from a sincere and lovely wife/husband.
Also the peace which a modest lifestyle brings will always be seen in your home. When you avoid situations that can cause chaos in your home you will be the man after God’s heart. Your home will enjoy peace and love all day and the blessings of God will not elude you as well. Because there is peace, the presence of God will a\\Nays be in your home. Have you imagined a home where God reigns? The experience of love and joy is usually unspeakable.
God’s Grace! My dear
